Two years in: COVID-19 long-hauler calls for patience

As America began talking about masks, social distancing and other pandemic protocols, Isabel Toscano’s body flared with suspicious symptoms: a bronchitis-like cough, high fever, nausea, digestive issues and intense fatigue and weakness.

At the time, Isabel worked the day shift as a psychology tech in the Behavioral Health Unit at St. Mark’s Hospital. She had heard about the coronavirus, but had no idea how real, brutal or personal the virus and her fight against it — the literal fight for her life — would become.

Isabel’s battle with COVID-19 began at the beginning of the pandemic and it continues today. Isabel is a COVID “long-hauler;” one who faces daily struggles because of the physically intense and emotionally draining virus, and one who calls for continued grace and patience for COVID survivors.

Attacked by an invisible virus: Isabel became one of the first ventilated COVID-19 patients at St. Mark’s Hospital

On March 29, 2020, a dear friend and chaplain named Julie, drove Isabel to the Emergency Department at St. Mark’s Hospital. Once there, the triage team confirmed Isabel’s positive COVID-19 results and she spent three days in a unit designated specifically for patients with the coronavirus. Unfortunately, during that time, Isabel’s oxygen levels continued dipping lower. Physicians determined that for Isabel to survive, her lungs needed extra support. They transferred her to the Intensive Care Unit, where Isabel became one of the first COVID patients placed on a ventilator at St. Mark’s Hospital — the first hospital colleague placed on one – due to the coronavirus.

“I felt like I was fighting an invisible person who was attacking me. The fight was draining, but I couldn’t rest because I had to keep going,” Isabel said.

Isabel spent 3.5 weeks in the ICU. Her body struggled to survive while in a comatose state, with her lungs dependent on the constantly pumping ventilator. Every day, nurses and doctors provided round-the-clock-care; and every day they updated her family on the situation, preparing them for the worst and hoping for the best.

“I have the utmost respect for any person who works in the COVID unit and helps with healing COVID patients. I know how hard it is. The strain they go through is not easy for them,” Isabel explained. “I couldn’t have family in the ICU with me … that’s where the nurses and doctors came in. They gave that physical touch. They became the individuals who heard our cries and helped us. They were there to give a helping hand in fighting this.”

While unconscious in the ICU, Isabel says she had what she believes was a spiritual visit that changed the course of her fight against COVID and one that continues influencing her today. Isabel was visited by her late mother. She recalls her mother — who passed away December 2013 — approached, then embraced her in a lifelike hug. After a healing conversation, her mother explained that Isabel needed to return to mortal life, as it wasn’t time to join her just yet.

Initially Isabel didn’t want to return, but eventually she heeded her mother’s words. With that internal acceptance, her outward, physical body began to revive.

Soon after her mother’s spiritual visit, Isabel regained enough consciousness to give a thumbs up to her nurses, signaling a readiness for the next phase in the fight for her life.

The wrestle for recovery: Rehabilitation continues with daily effort

Upon graduation from the ICU, Isabel moved to the Acute Rehabilitation Center (ARC) at St. Mark’s Hospital. There, she spent nearly a month focusing on occupational and physical therapy, regaining much-needed strength and skills we often take for granted.

“After not being mobile for 3.5 weeks, I had to learn how to stand and walk all over again. My muscles just weren’t working. That was scary because I could see my legs, but I couldn’t feel them,” Isabel said. “The people at ARC worked and worked with me, until I was ready to go home.”

On May 18, 2020, as Isabel left the hospital, she received an enthusiastic send off from the entire gamut of healthcare workers who did everything in their power to save her life.

“I was told I am a miracle,” Isabel said. “The halls were lined up with hospital workers.”

Although she was eager to return home, once there, the wrestle for recovery continued. In fact, even two years later, it remains in full force.

The COVID long haul experience has been described by those enduring it as being stuck – stuck in a prolonged recovery with little relief. Isabel can understand that frustration. She says that although she is grateful COVID-19 didn’t kill her, it absolutely rewrote the course of her life.

“It’s been quite a journey trying to get better. It’s a huge challenge,” she explained. “I have good days and bad days. I just take them as they come.”

Isabel still uses oxygen at night and while participating in strenuous activities. She cannot stand for more than a few seconds at a time. She says brain fog, vertigo, nausea and a nasty cough persist. Despite all of that, she manages to remain positive.  

“I know there’s a light at the end of this tunnel, but I feel like I’m not even halfway through the tunnel because I can’t see the light yet. I know it’s there, and I’ll keep moving toward it,” Isabel continued. “Eventually I’ll be able to do the things I used to.”

While Isabel accepts her life will never be the same, nonetheless, she often proclaims enthusiastically, “I am a survivor!”

Lessons learned: Give grace. Be patient. Take it one day at a time.

While Isabel remains determined to progress in her healing, she recognizes that the forward movement comes at a slow pace — understandably, slower than she would like. That’s why she speaks up about the importance of offering herself and other long-haulers grace in the process.

“I don’t move around as fast as I used to. People need to be patient with themselves and other COVID patients,” Isabel said, describing COVID-19 as a game of ‘tug of war’ she continues playing between her body and mind. “I take one day at a time. I don’t know how I’m going to feel today or tomorrow, so I just do what I can when I can. Sometimes all I get done in a day is vacuum my room, but I don’t stress over it. I simply acknowledge that accomplishment.”

Isabel returned to work at St. Mark’s Hospital in a new, part-time role. She is helping with patient registration while setting a living example of positively enduring health challenges for any patient who walks through the hospital’s doors.

“Recovering from COVID is an everyday struggle for me,” Isabel added. “I’m on my second year of healing from COVID, and I really want to let people know not to give up. It’s a long road, but it leads to recovery.”